The Mystery of the Roanoke Colony.

Hello there and welcome back to another crime/supernatural post. If you haven’t heard of the bizarre story of the Roanoke Colony, first of all where have you been hiding? second of all, please let me fill you in.

The disappearance of the Roanoke Colony is America’s oldest unsolved mystery. It traces back to August 1587 when a group of around 115 English settlers arrived on Roanoke island, off the coast of what is now known as North Carolina. The mystery, you might be wondering, is that of the fact that three years later this entire colony disappeared, leaving no evidence or trace behind of what happened to them, apart from the word ‘CROATOAN’ carved into a post and ‘CRO’ carved into a tree.

Lets start from the beginning. 

The ‘Lost Colony’ was the third group of English settlers to come to the island. The first group arrived in 1584, who came to explore and map the land for future groups.
The second group landed in 1585 and was a lot less peaceful than the previous. They were charged with a military and science mission which is ‘where tensions begins [with the local Native American tribes]’ said Clay Swindell. He says that the group was driven out in 1586 by local tribes, angry that the colonists were taking up good land and resources. Rightly so if you ask me.

The third group – the ‘Lost Colony’ – arrived in 1587. This was led by John White (the irony of his surname), who had brought his pregnant daughter and her husband along with him (his daughter would give birth to the first English child born in the Americas, her name was Virginia) It consisted of entire families – 11 children, 17 women and 90 men – meaning that this group had intentions to settle in the New World and was not a military excursion, as this would have only included men. Clearly never heard of equality back then.
Due to the previous groups, as you can imagine, tensions were already high with the Native people having groups of white people coming to take their land no questions asked. These lot were also largely middle-class Londoners (Tories if you ask me) and perhaps were hoping to become land owners. From the moment they arrived, the Croatoan tribe tried to force them out – they killed a member of the colony as he was searching for crab and refused to negotiate a truce with the colony. This resulted in White leading a preemptive strike on the tribe, but because the tribe aren’t stupid (despite what the media tells you), they anticipated this attack and withdrew from the village as they feared reprisal for the murder of the colonist on the beach.
Instead, White attached Croatoan looters. Eventually, they smoothed the whole situation and all seemed fine.

Image result for roanoke colony

Later that year, John White decided that he would sail back to England to gather a fresh load of supplies. However, just as he arrived, a major naval war broke out between England and Spain (England do love their wars) and Queen Elizabeth 1, called on every available ship to confront the Spanish Armada. This meant John would not make it back to Roanoke island until August 1590, three years later. When they made landfall, they discovered fresh footprints in the sand, but no one had tried to contact them. It was here that they discovered ‘CRO’ carved into a tree.
Upon reaching the site of the colony, they discovered a palisade (a fence of wooden stakes or iron railings making an enclosure) and the word ‘CROATOAN’ carved into one of the posts.

White was certain that the two inscriptions meant that the colonists had peacefully relocated to Croatoan Island, since they had agreed, before he left in 1587, that the colonists would leave a ‘secret token’ indicating their destination.
It didn’t seem as simple as that, as the search parties found houses had been dismantled and anything that could be carried removed. Several large trunks – three belonging to John – had been dug up and looted. Additionally, none of the colony’s boats could be found along the shore. There were no signs of distress, no bodies or graces located nearby, further enforcing the idea that everyone left alive. Most historians today believe that relocation is the most likely scenario and that they simply must’ve integrated with another tribe, leaving the only question remaining – which tribe?

The party planned on returning the next day to Croatoan Island to continue their search, however, as fate would have it, the ships anchor cable snapped leaving the ship with only one working cable and anchor. Not wanting to risk shipwreck, the search mission could not continue as planned. The crew did offer a compromise to John – they would spend the winter in the Caribbean and return in the Spring of 1591. However, this plan also fell trough as the ship was blown off course and was forced to head back to England.
If you’re like me, then you can’t help but think that something or someone, didn’t want John continuing his search for the colony.

Many believed that the colony had simply relocated, but Walter Raleigh wanted to keep the matter in doubt. As long as the settlers couldn’t be proven dead, then he could legally maintain his claim on Virginia. Raleigh used the disappearance of the colony several times as a way of personal gain, for example: in 1595 he used the search as a cover for his search for El Dorado, later claiming that weather prevented him from landing. Bullshit. Then when the price of sassafras (a plant) skyrocketed, he based the potential of the colonists as a way of enforcing his monopoly on Virginia. Do not fear though, as in 1603, good old Walter received his comeuppance when he was arrested for treason against King James (during the Main Plot – King James thought everyone was out to get him), ending his Virginia charter.
Throughout the following years, there were many other attempts to search for the Lost Colony, but still no one found any trace of them.

Image result for roanoke colony

A positive to come from this, is that the lessons learned may have helped the next group of English settlers who would find their own colony 17 years later, just a short distance to the north, at Jamestown. They were aware of the upset the previous groups had caused to the tribes surrounding Roanoke, so decided they better no try their luck there again. Of course, I don’t agree with colonialism, but I suppose no one dying is a good thing?

Recent Findings/Theories

To this day, people have not given up in finding what happened to those 115 people all those years ago. There are teams of archaeologists and historians who are trying to solve the mystery and still, there is no definitive answer. There are plenty of theories, but nothing of solid proof. Here a few of those recent findings:

A map drawn by John White, kicked off a reexamination of the colonies fate. White was an artist and employee of the explorers of Walter Raleigh (the scumbag reemerges). On this map were two patches that made Brent Lane of the First Colony Foundation wonder if there may be something hidden underneath. Scientists at the British Museum looked into the patches and discovered a tiny red and blue symbol. Perhaps a secret fort or secret emergency location? Later findings showed there to be tiny pieces of pot to be discovered in this area, suggesting that maybe a small group of people used to live here.

Historian and principal investigation of the project, Eric Klingelhoter of Mercer University in Macon, Georgia, says that ‘our best idea is that parts of Raleigh’s exploration in North American were a state secret and the map a ‘cover-up’, and was an effort to keep information from the public and foreign agents’. This can’t be too wrong to assume, because if we know anything about Raleigh it is that he really doesn’t care about anything other than personal gain and he is super shady.

Some researchers think that the colonists likely encountered disease – caused by New World microbes their bodies had never encountered before. This also leads to another theory that the colonists did integrate with a tribe, but they brought with them diseases from Europe and the tribes killed all the colonists as a way of getting rid of the disease, which is why there is no trace of them. Another popular theory is that they encountered violence. The research team believes that when the mysterious crisis occurred – whether that be disease or violence – they all split off into smaller groups and dispersed, which could be plausible due to the previous group in 1585, being told to do this if disaster struck.

In 1937 – 1941, a series of inscribed stones were discovered that were claimed to have been written by Eleanor Dare – the daughter of John White. They told of the travelings of the colonists and their ultimate deaths. Most historians believe they are fraud but some do believe them to be genuine. The first discovered stone, however, is regarded different to the rest based on linguistic and chemical analysis and could possibly be genuine. But again, nothing has come of it.
Another popular theory is that the colony simply tried to sail back to England. This could have ended in many ways – being lost at sea, they ran into the Spaniards who had marched up from Florida and met a bloody end, or their boats, crew and supplies simply weren’t sufficient enough and they were taken by the ocean.

To this day, no one quite knows what happened to the colony or why the word ‘Croatoan’ was carved into that tree, and I don’t think we ever will. I believe it’s just one of those things that will always remain a mystery and let our minds make up our own stories about their fate. Could it have been disease? violence? maybe something supernatural?

H.H Holmes: America’s First Serial Killer

*warning of details of murder, death and torture, including of children*

Herman Webster Mudgett, aka H.H Holmes is believed to be America’s first serial killer. It is said that he killed between 20 and 200 people, in his ‘Murder Castle’, a building that was intricately designed by Holmes so that he could take his victims and murder them. He was apprehended in 1894 and hanged 2 years later. 

Throughout this post we will be delving in to the early life of Holmes – a childhood that is suggested to have contributed to his killer instincts later on in life, his early life of crime and, of course, the infamous ‘Murder Castle’.

Early life

Holmes was born on May 16, 1861 in New Hampshire, to an affluent family. He was the third born, having an older sister – Ellen, and brother – Arthur, and a younger sister – Mary and brother – Henry. His parents were devout Methodists and demanded complete obedience from him. His mother Theodate Page Price, a former school teacher, was described as ‘cold and distant’, who used religion as a daily guide for parenting (this isn’t looking good so far). Additionally, his father, Levi Horton Mudgett, was an alcoholic who chose strict discipline as his form of parenting, that often resulted in physical abuse. Some of his harsh disciplinary tactics included prolonged isolation and food deprivation. It is also reported that he held kerosene soaked rags over the mouths of Holmes and his siblings to ‘quiet them’ when they cried. Top notch parenting skills if you ask me.

During this time, Holmes found solace in the forest near to his home. It was here that his fascination with the dead began, as he began dissecting bodies of dead animals. This obsession began with reptiles and then escalated to mammals such as rabbits and dogs. This later provided him with flesh-cutting skills and later acted as a psychological facilitator for his obsession with human anatomy. It is suggested that all these factors combined, resulted in his inability to form meaningful relationships, with the abuse contributing to his penchant for lies, swindling and abusing other individuals. Studies show that serial killers are 6x more likely to have experienced abuse in their childhood. Holmes was also a abused in school for his good grades and slightly odd demeanour. One instance, for example is when his classmates blindsided him by forcing him into the doctors office and forcibly placing a skeletons hands over his face. This was during a time during many medical advancements that garnered much public attention so it wasn’t rare to find skeletons in doctors windows.

This morbid curiosity with the dead may have led him to killing his childhood friend at 11. Although nothing has been proved it would not be surprising. Holmes had a friend named Tom; whilst exploring an abandoned house together, Holmes recalls witnessing Tom die by falling off a landing. However, it is speculated that Holmes was standing close enough to Tom that he could have pushed him. Could this have been his first human killing?

Beginning his life of crime and relationships

It will come as no surprise when I say that Holmes went to medical school. He was a student at the University of Michigan and it was here that things started escalated. Throughout his time here, he stole corpses and used them to make false insurance claims and in some cases, he also used them for experiments. He began robbing graves, and morgues and sold the cadavers (corpse) to medial schools or utilised them for more insurance scams. He did this by creating pseudonyms for himself and naming himself beneficiary of a life insurance policy he took out on a fictitious individual.

Another way of earning money, was by swindling money out of women. At one point he had 3 wives in 3 different cities – the women knowing nothing of each other. In 1878 he married Clara Levering, the daughter of a wealthy local farmer with whom he had one son, Robert who was born in 1880. In 1884, Holmes left Clara and Robert using her money for his medical school tuition, they both described him as being abusive. In 1886, whilst still married to Clara, he married Myrta with whom he had one daughter, Lucy, in 1889. He then went on to marry again, still married to his previous two wives.

The ‘Murder Castle’

By now it is already obvious that Holmes wasn’t a nice guy and that was before all the killings! Holmes arrived in Chicago in 1886, when he started using his new name, Henry Howard Holmes. It was here that he began working at a drugstore and eventually bought it. He purchased the land opposite the building and in 1887 began building a two story building, consisting of apartments on the first floor and retail space on the ground this. This would become the ‘Murder Castle’. In 1892, he added a third floor, telling investors and suppliers that it was space for a hotel. Within the building there was soundproof rooms and mazes of hallways, some leading to nowhere. Many rooms were fitted with chutes that went straight to the basement where there were acid vats, quicklime and a crematorium. Holmes wasn’t too keen on paying suppliers or staff, so when furniture suppliers began poking around after not receiving their payments they found that Holmes was hiding their materials in hidden rooms and passages. Their search made the news and investors pulled out once reading the articles.

By 1892 the hotel was more or less complete. The ground floor stayed the store front and the first and second floor consisted of elaborate torture rooms including the basement chute. Police had been suspecting things were off about Holmes, so in 1894 when Holmes was out, they inspected the hotel and discovered rooms with hinged walls and false partitions, rooms linked with secret passages and airtight rooms that were connected to pipelines full of gas, aka, gas chambers. The chutes were used to deliver bodies to the basement and once there, Holmes made use of surgical tables and an array of medical tools to dissect bodies before selling the organs and bones to the black market and medical institutions.

Shortly after Holmes’ arrest, the hotel was set on fire by an unknown arsonist. It is speculated that it was the neighbours as they didn’t want it to become a tourist attraction. However, it was largely rebuilt and used as a post office until 1938.

The victims

One of the first victims, if you aren’t including Tom, was his mistress Julia Smythe. She was the wife of Ned Connor who had moved into the building and began working at the pharmacy jewellery counter. Connor found out about the affair and left Julia and their daughter, Pearl behind. Smythe gained custody of Pearl and stayed with Holmes, continuing their relationship. However, on Christmas Eve, 1891, Julia and Pearl disappeared – Holmes claimed Julia died during an abortion, but it was never confirmed.

Other victims include Emeline Cigrande who began working in the building in May 1892 and disappeared in the December of that year. 1893 was the year that actress Minnie Williams moved to Chicago and also fell under the charm of Holmes. He persuaded her to transfer the deed of her properly in Forth Worth, Texas to one of his aliases. Holmes and Williams rented an apartment together, to which her sister Annie visited. During this visit Annie wrote to her aunt telling her she had to de decided to accompany ‘brother Harry’ to Europe. Neither Minnie nor Annie were seen alive after July 5 1893.

Throughout his spree, Holmes had what only can be described as a partner in crime, his name was Benjamin Pitezel – he helped at times to dispose of the bodies and sell the parts. Both Pitezel and Holmes concocted a plan for Pitezel to fake his own death so that his wife and five children could collect the $10000 insurance policy, to which Holmes would get a cut. However, Holmes in good old Holmes style, thought it better to just kill Pitezel by knocking him unconscious with chloroform and setting his body on fire. It was never confirmed whether or not Pitezel was still alive when his body was set on fire.

Holmes proceeded to collect the money and went on the manipulate Pitezel’s wife into allowing 3/5 of her children to be in his custody. Holmes and the three children, Annie, Nellie and Howard all travelled throughout the USA and Canada together, escorting Mrs Pitezel along a parallel route, whilst still lying to her about her husbands death – claiming he was in London, hiding – in addition to lying to her about the whereabouts of her children. Holmes later confessed to killing Annie and Nellie by forcing them into a large trunk and locking them inside. He drilled a hole into the lid and used gas to asphyxiate them. He buried their bodies nude in the cellar of his rental home in a Toronto. Holmes also rented a home in Indianapolis where he killed Howard. He purchased drugs from the local pharmacy to kill Howard, and tools from a repair shop to sharpen the knives he used to cut up the body before burning it. Howard’s teeth and bits of bone were discovered in the chimney.

Capture and arrest

With insurance companies pressing to prosecute Holmes for arson, he left Chicago in July 1894, reappearing in Forth Worth, Texas in the home he procured from Minnie Williams. It was here that he sought to construct another ‘Castle’. However, his spree ended in Boston on November 17, 1894 where Holmes was finally arrested after an outstanding warrant for horse theft in Texas. Of all the things he had done and it was horse theft that got him. Following the discovery of Alice and Nellie in July 1895, Chicago police began investigating Holmes’ building, ‘The Castle’. However, despite many claims, no evidence was found that could have convicted him. Obviously in the 1890s, having a torture house wasn’t enough. Despite this, in October 1895, Holmes was put on trial and found guilty for the murder of Benjamin Pitezel and sentenced to death. By then it was also evident that he had murdered Annie, Nellie and Howard.

Following this conviction, he ‘confessed’ to 27 murders in Chicago, Indianapolis and Toronto. He initially claimed innocence and said that he was possessed by Satan. Classic. On May 7 1896, he was hanged at Moyamensing Prison, also known as the Philadelphia County Prison for the murder of Pitezel. Leading up to his death he remained calm and amiable, showing very few signs of anxiety, fear or depression. He asked for his coffin to be contained in cement and buried 10ft deep as he was concerned grave diggers would steal his body and use if for dissection. I wonder why. When hanged, his neck did not snap; instead the rope strangled him slowly to death, his body twitching for over 15 minutes before finally being pronounced dead, 20 minutes after the trap had sprung.

In 2017, amid allegations that Holmes had in fact escaped execution, his body was exhumed for testing. Due to the body being contained in cement, the body hadn’t decomposed normally. His clothes were almost perfectly preserved and his moustache in tact. He was positively identified as Holmes through his teeth and then reburied.

So there we have it, the lift and death of America’s first serial killer. Wasn’t a very nice guy and I am personally very glad his neck didn’t snap, he deserved the longest death possible. Come back next week when we will be discussing the Roanoke colony, the first English permanent settlers in America that disappeared without a trace.

Eleanor Oliphant is Completely Fine by Gail Honeyman review

Author: Gail Honeyman
Publisher: Harper Collins
Series: Stand Alone
Published: May 9th, 2017
Rating: 5/5

Goodreads Summary  

No one’s ever told Eleanor that life should be better than fine.

Meet Eleanor Oliphant: She struggles with appropriate social skills and tends to say exactly what she’s thinking. Nothing is missing in her carefully timetabled life of avoiding social interactions, where weekends are punctuated by frozen pizza, vodka, and phone chats with Mummy.

But everything changes when Eleanor meets Raymond, the bumbling and deeply unhygienic IT guy from her office. When she and Raymond together save Sammy, an elderly gentleman who has fallen on the sidewalk, the three become the kinds of friends who rescue one another from the lives of isolation they have each been living. And it is Raymond’s big heart that will ultimately help Eleanor find the way to repair her own profoundly damaged one.

Soon to be a major motion picture produced by Reese Witherspoon, Eleanor Oliphant Is Completely Fine is the smart, warm, and uplifting story of an out-of-the-ordinary heroine whose deadpan weirdness and unconscious wit make for an irresistible journey as she realizes. . .

The only way to survive is to open your heart.

Review

If there is one thing I can wholeheartedly say about this book, it is that is it wonderful! I wouldn’t be being dramatic if I said that this one of the most beloved books i have read. The writing is of a sort poetic with the way it deals with important issues of mental health, death and abuse and is completely refreshing in the sense that it is a novel which is unlike anything I have read previously. It has taken me some time now, to find a book which I loved as much as this one. I started reading during a period where I was busy and didn’t really feel in the mindset for reading, but once I started I was fully immersed into the story and just forgot about all my outside troubles – one of the reasons why I love reading so much. So, thank you Eleanor Oliphant for reminding me why I love reading so much.

Eleanor Oliphant is by far my most beloved character to date. She is extremely quirky, funny without even trying and thankfully not your typical female protagonist – aka someone who seems to have everything figured out. Eleanor has flaws, she isn’t perfect, she has problems – she is human – and reading about a character like that just makes the experience so much more enjoyable as I could see myself in her in so many different ways. Whether that’s a good thing or not can be taken into interpretation. She has terrible social skills (relatable) and doesn’t seem to understand or be able to grasp basic things such as ordering a pizza, but it just makes you love her more and makes the story more interesting because you’re always wondering ‘why’. Without spoiling too much of the plot, I just want to point out that you will go through a rollercoaster of emotions with this book, for me, I cried, laughed (considerably), had a constant warm feeling coursing through my body and also got extremely frustrated. I wasn’t lying about the rollercoaster. In the name of cliche, I can safely say that this book is the perfect ‘feel-good’ book and I can guarantee that you will enjoy it.

Seeing the relationship blossom between Eleanor and Raymond is one of the purest things in the literary universe. Shakespeare who? Raymond is the most perfect, un-perfect character ever and you can’t help but fall in love with him. He gives you hope in humanity and makes you wish that you, too, had a Raymond in your life to care for you as he does for Eleanor. I rarely like the protagonists in books I read as I find them somewhat problematic and irritating but this book throws that idea out window, I honestly don’t think I’ve liked any protagonist more. There are other characters, of course, but those aren’t the best I’m gonna be honest, those include Eleanor’s mentally and physically abusive mother and her co-workers who constantly undermine her and make fun of her because she isn’t like them. We’ve all dealt with people like these – people who belittle us for their own personal gain – and it shows us that we are not alone in this, and just like Eleanor, we are so much better than them.

My best friend has read this book and so has my mum and both of them loved it as much as I did. This book is sure to stay with me for a long time and I hope it does you too. It’s also being turned in a movie which is absolutely amazing, I am so excited to see it but my expectations are incredibly high! Please let me know if you read this book and tell me how much you love it too!

‘I Hold Your Heart’ by Karen Gregory

Hello, and welcome to my stop on the ‘I Hold You Heart’ blog tour! I would first like to thank the publisher for allowing me to be apart of this blog tour and thank you for taking the time out of your day to read my review.

Now for the review:

First of all I would like to point out that this book deals with issues such as emotional and sexual abuse, so please take care when reading this book if these things can be triggering for you. The book follows Gemma, a music lover and aspiring songwriter, whose family seem to overlook her desires and dreams by focusing on those of her younger brother, an aspiring footballer. She has extremely supportive friends, who always have her best interests at heart and also Aaron, who has her heart.

The book is written in alternating viewpoints of Gemma and Aaron, allowing us to see both sides of the relationships and how each character and their emotions grow throughout the book. I’m Gemma’s case, we are able to witness how quickly she fell in love with Aaron and how easy it was for him to manipulate her thoughts and feelings. In Aaron’s case, we are able to witness how he becomes infatuated with Gemma and are able to get into this mind and the process of his actions. Although we see Aaron from a first person perspective it is still extremely difficult to resonate any sympathy for him, as from the offset, there is an unnerving atmosphere surrounding him and you can’t help but feel creeped out by him.

Many aspects of this novel are extremely relevant to today’s society and its target audience. It’s not very often in YA that you come across novels that deal with such serious issues such as this and handle it in such a sensitive, yet informative manner. In addition to the major issue of abuse, something that happens to people of all ages, ethnicities and backgrounds, this book also raises issues surrounding the relationships between parents and their children. This is shown through the fact that Gemma is overlooked by her parents, and doesn’t feel as appreciated by them in comparison with her younger brother, something that is played on by Aaron, again showing his ability to manipulate any situation to push Gemma further into his arms.

Just like everybody, Gemma herself isn’t perfect, she has flaws, she makes mistakes and that too, is what makes her such a great protagonist, she is easily relatable, especially for me as, she too comes from a working class background which I feel we don’t see that often in novels.

If you happen to read this book, I hope you enjoy it as much as I did and be sure to check out all the other reviews on the tour!

Lets talk: periods

NOT THE PUNCTUATION.

Periods are what affect half the population of mammals on planet earth for a significant part of their life, once a month. If you are a male person then you will most commonly know this time as “the time of the month” or something you believe is happening when a woman disagrees with something you have said or has an opinion. Not only are periods pain in the arse, and the uterus, they are a natural function of the female body and are also an inconvenience which comes with numerous side symptoms that people seem to overlook.

Some common symptoms include:

    The desire to consume all of the food in sight
    Unwanted friends that appear on our face and are persistent in staying
    The feeling that someone has pumped your entire body with air
    Emotions that are as stable as the UK government
    A general feeling of shittiness

The majority of people who are blessed or cursed, depending on what way you want to look at it, will experience these symptoms when they are due on their period or are bleeding like a waterfall. However, as no persons body is the same, you can imagine that not every person’s reaction to a hormone change is the same, I for one can vouch for this. Whenever my period is due, my body and mood flips like a gymnast and it scares me, never mind my poor parents who have to live with me. So please, let me tell you about my extra symptoms of “that time of the month”. You may too experience some of these, which in that case, just now you are not alone, I feel ya sister and if you don’t then please just enjoy my pain and discomfort. (I’m not going to lie, I’m due on my period right now so I just want to vent and complain about my problems.)

Extra symptoms include:

  • The regular feeling that you want to just die, like really what is the point? I mean I feel this the majority of the time, but during this time, damn that bell will just not stop ringing.
  • Paranoia, paranoia and a little bit more paranoia, especially if you leave the house and are worried you’ve got a huge blood stain on your pants despite literally wearing like 4 nappies,
  • Excessive hair growth, particularly the face. Literally, feel like I’m growing a prepubescent beard (love my PCOS)
  • Lack of body positivity due to bloatedness, which in my case leads me to want to exercise for 3 hours after eating anything that doesn’t come from the ground or a tree
  • Itchiness in the downstairs region – mainly due to the inability to wear tampons so have to use sanitary towels of doom
  • Restless sleep
  • Extremely painful hips that wake me up in the night as it feels like someone has a hold of my hip bone and is trying to yank it from my skeleton.
  • The need for my surroundings to be clean, tidy and perfectly organised. I swear the number of times I’ve rearranged my bedroom due to it not “feeling right” would scare you.

That’s just what I can think of right now, I’m sure my body will throw a few more curveballs in there soon enough. These extra inconveniences may be due to my poor mental health, my PCOS or my slight hormone imbalance, but I can tell you the week before my period, they all hit me in the vagina and it is hell. Of course it is all over after a few days, or in my case a week, but still, like can you not.

If you too, feel down or irritated during “the time of the month” just know that I and many, many people and animals feel you sister. And although it is a major inconvenience to our lives and truly annoying that men do not have to suffer or rarely have sympathy, just remember, we women are strong. We have survived a patriarchal society since the beginning of time, the witch trials and living under the reign of Margaret Thatcher – we can do this.

Periods are not like they advertise on adverts, unless you’re a perfect human being, you know who you are, they are messy and they are tiresome and come with all the symptoms and more. But we are women, we are everyone born with a uterus and we can do this.

YOU GOT THIS.

Lets talk: periods

NOT THE PUNCTUATION.

Periods are what affect half the population of mammals on planet earth for a significant part of their life, once a month. If you are a male person then you will most commonly know this time as “the time of the month” or something you believe is happening when a woman disagrees with something you have said or has an opinion.

A little side note but I always find it very entertaining talking about periods in front of men, they find it such a taboo topic and I simply just can’t comprehend why. Here’s a story for you: my place of work is dominated by men, the type of men who worship football and talk about women as objects. One day these men were discussing what to do when you’re in a swimming pool and you get a boner. There were five of them discussing this and I was the only female in the room, just desperately trying to get on with my work. However, my ears were being tortured with this conversation. Their solution, if you are wondering, if to simply “stick it in the waistband of your shorts”. A bit much for a Thursday morning don’t you think? It hadn’t even reached 11 am yet. So, them discussing this slightly disgusting topic was perfectly normal for these men, however, I once brought up my period, something that is completely natural, nothing wrong with it at all and I was greeted with grimaces and was told to not talk about it. Oh, the rudeness. Of course, I didn’t shut up about it, I then went to talk into deep details of the functions and process of a period which resulted in several of the men walking away from me. What a score. Fun story for you there. Got to love a classic man haven’t you.

To continue:

Not only are periods pain in the arse, and the uterus, they are a natural function of the female body and are also an inconvenience which comes with numerous side symptoms that people seem to overlook.

Some common symptoms include:

    The desire to consume all of the food in sight
    Unwanted friends that appear on our face and are persistent in staying
    The feeling that someone has pumped your entire body with air
    Emotions that are as stable as the UK government
    A general feeling of shittiness

The majority of people who are blessed or cursed, depending on what way you want to look at it, will experience these symptoms when they are due on their period or are bleeding like a waterfall. However, as no persons body is the same, you can imagine that not every person’s reaction to a hormone change is the same, I for one can vouch for this. Whenever my period is due, my body and mood flips like a gymnast and it scares me, never mind my poor parents who have to live with me. So please, let me tell you about my extra symptoms of “that time of the month”. You may too experience some of these, which in that case, just now you are not alone, I feel ya sister and if you don’t then please just enjoy my pain and discomfort. (I’m not going to lie, I’m due on my period right now so I just want to vent and complain about my problems.)

Extra symptoms include:

  • The regular feeling that you want to just die, like really what is the point? I mean I feel this the majority of the time, but during this time, damn that bell will just not stop ringing.
  • Paranoia, paranoia and a little bit more paranoia, especially if you leave the house and are worried you’ve got a huge blood stain on your pants despite literally wearing like 4 nappies,
  • Excessive hair growth, particularly the face. Literally, feel like I’m growing a prepubescent beard (love my PCOS)
  • Lack of body positivity due to bloatedness, which in my case leads me to want to exercise for 3 hours after eating anything that doesn’t come from the ground or a tree
  • Itchiness in the downstairs region – mainly due to the inability to wear tampons so have to use sanitary towels of doom
  • Restless sleep
  • Extremely painful hips that wake me up in the night as it feels like someone has a hold of my hip bone and is trying to yank it from my skeleton.
  • The need for my surroundings to be clean, tidy and perfectly organised. I swear the number of times I’ve rearranged my bedroom due to it not “feeling right” would scare you.

That’s just what I can think of right now, I’m sure my body will throw a few more curveballs in there soon enough. These extra inconveniences may be due to my poor mental health, my PCOS or my slight hormone imbalance, but I can tell you the week before my period, they all hit me in the vagina and it is hell. Of course it is all over after a few days, or in my case a week, but still, like can you not.

If you too, feel down or irritated during “the time of the month” just know that I and many, many people and animals feel you sister. And although it is a major inconvenience to our lives and truly annoying that men do not have to suffer or rarely have sympathy, just remember, we women are strong. We have survived a patriarchal society since the beginning of time, the witch trials and living under the reign of Margaret Thatcher – we can do this.

Periods are not like they advertise on adverts unless you’re a perfect human being, you know who you are, they are messy and they are tiresome and come with all the symptoms and more. But we are women, we are everyone born with a uterus and we can do this.

YOU GOT THIS.

I went to the woods

There is a little rhyme that goes: if you go down to the woods today, you’re sure of a big surprise. I went to the woods and ladies, was I surprised. There we many surprises, some of them included how beautiful it was there, I literally felt like I had been transported to Canada when in actual fact I was like 40 minutes from my house, I was surprised at my fitness level – I wasn’t running any marathons, but being a sad, lonely person like yours truly, one doesn’t get out much so when you’re hiking through the woods for several hours, without getting out of breath, then let me tell you, that is a surprise, and finally the last noteworthy surprise was when I came across some Blue Tit (naughty) chicks.

I know you’re all super interested, so here are some pictures I took whilst on this journey through the woods and of self discovery (kind of).

“Discoucia” and “Gemenica” by Nicholas Lovelock

“Discoucia” Goodreads page: https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/35502297

If you’re a fan of Scooby Doo, then let me tell you, these books are the ones for you. “Discoucia” in the first book in the series, and “Gemenica” following it. They revolve around two guys, two girls and a God (is it a coincidence that God is Dog backwards? In this instance I think not), as they travel around solving mysteries, wherein the monsters are revealed to not be that scary after all. Very much like Scooby Doo if you ask me. The play on this childhood classic, is what gives these books a sense of fun – in some cases the stores don’t make too much sense, but it can be said that that is what makes them so charming and adds to the funniness and eccentricity overall to the books. It is also amusing to point out that there are several pop culture references throughout which has the power to light anybody’s nostalgic bones and is always entertaining to see.

I must admit though, despite the very detailed descriptions and wonderfully imaginative stories, I couldn’t finish “Gemenica”, the second book as at times I just felt like I was going around in circles and it got a little bit much for me, as I prefer my novels to have singular in depth plot lines, whereas this was a collection of mysteries being solved, much like Scooby Doo. I felt it lacked a proper plot at times which too, added to the inability to finish the second novel.

Overall, in regard to the purpose, setting and basic plot line of the novels they are written very well. I’d recommend them to younger readers, perhaps or really just anyone who fancies reading something a little fun and easy. However, they weren’t for me personally, as they lacked an in-depth plot line and that is something I need to keep me going until the end.

Survive by Stephen Llewelyn

Title: Survive
Author: Stephen Llewelyn
Release Date: 18th September 2018
Genre: Sci-Fi-Historical-Adventure

Publisher: Clink Street Publishing
Goodreads Link: https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/41643888-survive Image result for survive stephen llewelyn
Amazon Link: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Survive-Stephen-Llewelyn/dp/1912562030

Summary

A young man and his mother fight to leave tragedy behind. Striving for a new life on Mars has cost Tim and Patricia everything, but as even their future is taken from them, their past is just beginning.

Earth: population 50 billion. Pollution, crime and scarcity are out of our control. Instantaneous travel provides hope for the terraforming of another world.

A terrorist attack. An explosion at the event horizon of a wormhole. A murder. A trail of clues, misinformation and sabotage. Nothing is as it seems like an old enemy returns from the shadows. 100 years from now, the 100 souls aboard the USS New World are thrown back 100 million years to the deadly Cretaceous Period. From there, an epic fight to save humanity begins; but first, they must survive.

A multi-national, eclectic crew; among them the good, the not so good and the no damned good at all. Loss, courage, genius and sheer bloody-mindedness bind them. NASA Captain, James Douglas, and his first officer, Jill Baines, expected a taxi run to Mars. Now they must escape a fearsome Mapusaurus pack, survive natural disasters, brutal discoveries and treachery.

Review

The 100 meets Jurassic Park is what I would say to sum this book up. In case the title didn’t instantly give it away, this book is about survival- both of the new world and the old world – how the two times clash together and we are taken on a journey through the ages, back to the Cretaceous Period, where the characters must fight for survival, by taking on the old world and all of its inhabitants.

Initially, this book was quite hard to follow as you are hit with a vast amount of characters and it was difficult to follow and decipher who was who, but after getting into the swing of things properly, this problem subsided. The characters are one of the treasures of this book, with there being so many of them but all of them being distinct and unique in their own way. Particular favourites were Douglas and Baines who had a very refreshing relationship as despite the age difference, they had a good relationship and it was great to see them bond and see two characters from different backgrounds and ages having such a close relationship. The characters were diverse and had their own little thing that made you like them and make them authentic; for example there is a Scottish character whose dialogue is written in the way a Scottish person would speak it, making this character seem authentic and, personally, adds a bit of humour as in your mind you can hear the Scottish.

This alone is just one example of how well-written and thought out this book is and shows the attention to detail. As it is set in a time in which none of us will ever experience or begin to imagine what it was like, reading this book you felt that you could have experienced it first-hand and it really throws you into this old/new exciting time and place where danger lurks around every corner.

One qualm I had with this book is that I have to wait for the next book, as, unfortunately, it was left on the quite the cliffhanger, which isn’t ideal. But, I suppose it’s just the way things are. Additionally, one thing I did find quite endearing was that each chapter had a little picture at the top of the chapter – what’s better than pictures in books? If you do like things such as The 100 and Jurassic Park, then I would wholly recommend you reading this book, as I have a feeling that you will enjoy it.

Thanks for reading,

Zoe

Guest Post – D.S Smith, author of Unparalleled.

A day in the life of D S Smith (Don) author of ‘Unparalleled’

 I would love to be able to write a paragraph or two about how I structure my day to maximise the creative flow. How I wake up naturally to the sound of birds singing outside, stroll out to the kitchen to flick on the coffee machine before jumping into the shower to energise myself for the day ahead. But I’ll save the fiction for my books.

The Alarm sounds. I’m already awake but in a kind of conscious slumber. I haven’t slept well so I’m not awake enough yet to throw back the covers. I press the snooze button and immediately fall asleep. Nine minutes pass in what seems like 30 seconds and the alarm sounds again. Why is a snooze nine minutes anyway? I didn’t set that. One more snooze and I’ll get up.

 Nooooo, I wake up abruptly, I must have hit the stop button instead of the snooze. I’m running late now, but not so late that it stops me satisfying my new obsession. I pick up the phone and refresh my Author Central page on Amazon to see if I’ve sold any more copies of ‘Unparalleled’ overnight. I’ll do this every couple of hours for the rest of the day and one last time before I go to sleep.

 I managed to avoid being late by skipping breakfast, so my working day starts with a cup of coffee.  As I take my first sips, I look out of the window. I have a corner office with floor to ceiling glass on two sides providing a panoramic view of the neighboring buildings. The towering Ibis Hotel is prominent with its grey and white patchwork facade, behind it I see the Marina Mall peeking out displaying 20-foot high adverts for KFC, Nike and Vodafone.  The glass-fronted tower of the Stanbic Bank reflects the traffic driving by on the six-lane carriageway beneath it. Cars turn right onto a dual carriageway, flanked by Nissan and Mercedes Benz showrooms on one side and Land Rover/Jaguar on the other.  They’re headed toward the Holiday Inn and Hilton. This description probably fits many cities around the world but this one belongs to Accra, Ghana.

 I’ve been working in Ghana on and off for the past nine years. It’s my second home. The people of Ghana are amongst the most friendly, laidback, creative folk you will ever meet. Even as I write this, I am watching a Car Park Attendant dance his way around the parked cars as he patrols. He has some pretty impressive moves!

 Quick look at the watch – I have ten minutes before my first meeting of the day. Grab the phone, refresh the page; I’m in the top 25,000 on the Amazon Best Seller list, up from 57,000 earlier, whoop, whoop, I must have sold a couple of copies.

 The meeting I attend is a weekly update on the status of offshore operation in the Ghanaian oil fields.  The company I manage here provide Subsea Engineering services required to maintain the infrastructure used to get the oil from the wells on the seabed to the storage facility at the surface. We have a ship in the field equipped with two Remotely Operated Vehicles (ROV’s) that are used to carry out this maintenance. The ROV’s are about the size of a transit van. They have two robotic arms used to operate valves and disconnect or connect hydraulic and electrical supplies. There are lights and cameras to provide the operator with the visuals needed to carry out the tasks, and they have thrusters to propel them through the water column. All of this is controlled from the deck of the ship by a team of pilots and technicians. 

 The meeting lasts for an hour and all is good…

 Back at my desk I check my emails. There’s one from my daughter, written as she boards a plane at Manchester Airport. She’s flying out to Ghana with her friend to join me for the week.  They are both Yoga Instructors so I have set up a number of classes for her to teach while she’s here. I’m looking forward to joining in. My daughter illustrated the cover for ‘Unparalleled’. It’s a beautiful water colour, designed with the books theme in mind. A lot of writing sites advise against using homemade covers. Perhaps they are right, but I’m proud of the work my daughter did on this so I want to show it off as much as the story itself. 

 It’s lunch time. I’m having a sandwich at my desk and surfing through the BLOG sites to look for feedback for the book and of course to check the sales – I’ve hit the top 12,000, it’s looking like the hard work was worth it after all.   I now have 20 followers on Twitter and almost 50 on Instagram, big time here I come. I never used social media until the book was published, never really saw the point. Oh, I get it now though! I see the importance of spreading the word, getting your name out there, showing the world your book, giving them teasers, follow and be followed, tweet and be tweeted and then re-tweeted, post and …..ok, you get the point.

 All the reviews so far are good. Admittedly, family and friends have posted most of them. One from the BLOG tour really stands out. Thank you Welsh Mummy Blogs. Your review gave me a huge confidence boost. I’m sure the bad reviews will come. My wife read the first printed version of the book when it arrived from the publisher in the post. She has found many spelling and grammar mistakes. This annoyed me at first, I thought I was sending out a polished version. So, I did a bit of research. Many advisors will tell you to write, edit, write, edit, write, edit……………which is very good advice. Then, I read a BLOG by Stephen King. He prefers to get it out there and learn from the feedback. After all, what is a review if it’s not a proof read?

 Half way through the afternoon now and the lack of sleep last night is starting to take its toll. I need more coffee to get me through to the end of the day. I’ve noticed on a lot of the book review BLOG sites that you can express your gratitude for the work they do by buying them a coffee. All you have to do is click on the tag and donate. These guys commit so much to the art and most of them do it for the love of it.  I get tired reading just a few chapters. Imagine reading book after book and then having to comment on them. I’ll will be buying them all a coffee from now on.

 Last meeting attended, last email sent, the working day is over. A quick bite to eat and I’m on my way to pick up my daughter and her friend from the airport. I’ve been looking forward to this all day. I’m really excited to see them but also excited to have an excuse to show off the many interesting people and places I have come to know and love during my time working in this vibrant country. Standing amongst the crowd at the arrivals entrance, I feel like I’m in that scene from the movie ‘Love Actually’. People hugging, kissing, cheering and crying as their love ones appear through the double doors. My daughter and her friend appear, full of smiles and expectation. My daughter is dragging a big suitcase but under her arm is a copy of ‘Unparalleled’, bless her. 

 After a few drinks at the hotel bar, exchanging stories of the journey, my day at work and the plans for the week ahead, we all decide to turn in. It’s been quite a day, dedicated to work for the most part, family toward the end. But now it’s my time. This is when I write, when I go to bed at night. I’m drafting the sequel for ‘Unparalleled’ at the moment and have written the Prologue. The first chapter is going to introduce characters that were not involved in the first book. I’ll spend a couple of hours bringing them into existence, but first a quick check on Author Central. What the……I’ve slipped from the top 12,000 to over 100,000 on the best seller rank. Ahhhh, what is the point.

 Good night.